originally posted March 3, 2009

I enjoyed writing this over two years ago almost as much as I enjoyed re-reading it a few days ago. It helps me keep things in perspective in this fast-paced, crazy world.

“When you’ve lost it all, that’s when you finally realize that life is beautiful.”
–Nikki Sixx, The Heroin Diaries

1. I’m more concerned about my health and well being than I let on.
2. I already have three songs that I want to be played at my funeral.
3. “When you’ve lost it all, that’s when you finally realize that life is beautiful.” (Nikki Sixx, The Heroin Diaries)
4. I took a long time, made a lot of mistakes, caused a lot of heartache and pain before I REALLY figured out that the path my life was heading down was one I swore that I would never take.
5. I know from experience that God answers prayers. On July 18, 2006 I asked Him to give me a sign because my life was spinning out of control. The signs I received were so obvious that a blind man would have seen them. On that day by the Fox River in McHenry, I began living life the way I should have been and starting making decisions that would change my life forever. I have celebrated that date every year since then.
6. Despite all of my mistakes, my wife stood by me and showed how much she REALLY loved me. I can’t say enough about how much that meant to me and how much I appreciated it. No one would have blamed her for taking the easy path of walking away (“free at last with just a tiny scar and finally on her own…” –Blues Traveler). I will always remember her willingness to make things work.
7. I’d like to test the theory of “Money can’t buy happiness.”
8. I wish I made myself write more. I really enjoy writing out my thoughts/feelings but I never go back to read them. I’ve kept journals and I still have them. Maybe in 10-20 years I’ll look back at them at take the time to read them. I just wish I would make myself take the time to write something, anything on a daily basis, not for anyone else… Just me.
9. I’ll never hide my gray hairs. My grandfather was man enough to have a white head of hair in 40s and so will I (if it gets to that point).
10. When you REALLY want to change, you can and will. But you have to WANT to change first.
11. The grass would be greener on your side of the fence if you spend time taking care of it. I’ve learned the hard way that if you treat the greener lawn the same way you did your old lawn then you’ll end up with the same results.
12. I like cooking for others and watching them enjoy what I’ve made.
13. I want to visit Cabo San Lucas and the Cabo Wabo Cantina before I die. (My Mom is getting to see Cabo before I do! She’s going this week (2.25-3.04.09). I’ve requested a picture of her in front of the Cantina. (Update: I didn’t get the picture. She “saw” the Cantina though.)
14. As hot natured as I am, I still love going to the beach. Being able to get in the water to cool off helps.
15. I’ve never had a dog as good as Savannah. Just the thought of her not being around makes tears come to my eyes.
16. I have never touched a dead body. I came awfully close when Pappaw died because I wanted to tell him goodbye. I miss him so much and think about him often.
17. Age is just a number. My body may be 35+ but my brain still is in its teens. Hahaha…
18. Speaking of my brain, there are so many things that I can’t remember from growing up. I either blocked them out or I can’t remember what area of my brain I stored them in.
19. I never understood how smoking relieves stress. If you stood outside breathing in deeply for 5-10 minutes WITHOUT a cigarette, your stress would be relieved. It’s not the cigarette it’s the breathing.
20. I’ve always wanted to see a ghost. I can remember spending the night at my grandparents when I was younger and lying in bed looking down the hallway hoping a ghost would appear (it never did). I’ve had experiences that I can’t explain but never really “saw” anything.
21. I wish my family would come up to visit me more often. They’ve been here once in the 10+ years I’ve been away.
22. Even though I don’t say it enough as I should, I love Tammy more than I ever thought possible. The smallest things about her make me smile and make my heart feel good. I wish I would take the time to write those moments down so she would really know how I feel.
23. Facebook is too busy for me. Too much going on. I don’t get why I’ve been sent a plant, beads, drinks or hit with a pillow. Before she realized that I didn’t care about those things, Tammy would say, “Hey, you didn’t kiss me back yet” so I’d give her a kiss. “No silly, on Facebook.” What?!?! (Update: I’ve since learned how to work stuff on Facebook. The Twitter is now what I don’t understand. Too many symbols.)
24. The book “Embraced by the Light” really made me realize that we are here for reasons beyond what we currently know. Everyone has a purpose in their life whether they know it or not. Without even knowing it, a homeless man in the street may be fulfilling a purpose to someone that passes him daily. (“We were meant to live for so much more…” –Switchfoot)
25. Stop and read the poem “If I Knew.” We should treat the people we love that way every day.