Tuesday, September 20, 2011

By Tammy

I know there are a lot of entitlements out there, but there’s one in particular that really pisses me off.

I understand the need for some of them like Food Stamps, Welfare, Medicare, Unemployment, Social Security, etc.

But somewhere along the line there was an addition to the list that I’m not happy about at all. Golf.

Where’s My Free Day?

I’m so tired of golfing being a legitimate reason to have the day off of work.

I like to swim, so can I take the day off and go swimming?

Of course not, because it’s apparently not on the list of “entitlement sports,” like golf,  if golf is even considered a sport, but that’s another topic.

Not coming in today, I'm going badmintoning.

Is a day off to go golfing considered a sick day or a vacation day? Nope, it’s a f’n free day.

A free day for people, most of who don’t work that hard anyway, to go act like they matter at a place where a kid carries their clubs or they drive around in a cart because they are too lazy to carry their own clubs while a cute girl drives around serving them alcohol.

I work just as hard, actually harder than most these guys but I can’t just say “Oh so and so is taking me to play badminton, so I’ll be back in the office tomorrow.”

Well, actually I could do that, but the difference is, it would come out of my allotment of vacation days.

That’s some sh!t, huh?

I’m a Club Member

Now I get a free day off!!

Since when does owning golf clubs entitle someone to have a day off?

Is it because golfers are stereotyped as better than anyone else?

Is it because if you “golf” you must be in a profession above the rest of us, thus allowing for you to blow off, or should I say, pass off your responsibilities at work?

Why can’t these “executive golfers” be OK with golfing on a friggin’ weekend like everyone else?

I’ll tell you why. It’s because they think they are entitled to something better than the rest of us!

Executive Orders

Hey man, whatch doin? Oh I'm working today, nice pants.

The Executive Golfer thinks they are entitled to more than the average, hardworking, 9-5, Mon-Fri, loyal, put up with sh!t golfers can’t handle, employee.

Those arrogant pricks seem to think everyone who doesn’t golf isn’t good enough, rich enough or doesn’t hold a title powerful enough to be given the same privileges as those who don’t own golf clubs.

Excuse me Mr. Executive Golfer for not being taught to wear ugly clothes, start drinking alcohol at 9 a.m. and hitting a little ball so far away that our lazy butt has to drive a cart find it.

Then hoping the ball actually made it onto a fake green oval instead of the water or sand that is randomly placed around.

Not to mention having to worry about getting hit and ducking every time some idiot yells “FORE” because his stupid ball went the wrong way.

My NOT talking isn't going to make you a better golfer.

Oh, and don’t forget to be quiet because Sir Dunkin Dewey III is about to miss a putt for the 30th time then call it a birdie, a par, a SOB or what-the-hell-ever those stupid names are.

If I just played golf it would make me so much better than anyone else on God’s Green Earth and I would forever be entitled to a free F’N day off

I guess my family was way too selfish to teach me that and instead taught me to treat people equally.

Well, except for those damn this-is-considered-work-golfers.