Making My Wife Scream Brought Me Pleasure

Friday, September 30, 2011

My wife doesn’t cry very much so it’s rare when I see tears in her eyes. This morning I not only saw them, I caused them.

I’ll Cry If I Want To

Definitely cries more than Tammy does.

I’d like to say the reason she doesn’t cry very much is because living with me brings her so much pleasure there’s never a need for tears.

But the reality is that I’m surprised she doesn’t cry more BECAUSE she lives with me.

I’ve even tried to make her cry from my sentimental cards where I wrote about how much she means to me, how much I love her, etc., only to be disappointed when no tears appeared.

Then there are the times I can’t believe I’m actually seeing Tammy crying and even more shocked at WHY.

Sometimes it’s when we’re watching America’s Funniest Videos (post-Sagat years) and they show people falling down.

Makes Tammy cry more than me.

But those don’t really count since the tears are from her laughing so hard. She REALLY loves it when people fall.

There’s one person that I know makes Tammy cry almost every single time she sees him, but she doesn’t even know WHY.

That person is David Militello.

I’m not surprised if you don’t know who he is, but if you want to see what makes Tammy cry, you can watch David Militello on America’s Got Talent, here.

Good vs. Evil

Do it... You know you shouldn't...

It all started this morning when I saw Savannah, our English bulldog, walking out of our bedroom.

Some mornings Savannah likes to sit in the bathroom while Tammy is showering, so I opened the door to the bathroom and she walked in.

I headed to the kitchen to make coffee and Savannah wasn’t far behind me. I let her outside and pulled the bathroom door closed so Tammy wouldn’t be cold when she got out of the shower.

I finished making the coffee, got dressed and just needed to brush my teeth before heading off to work.

I walked into the bathroom and didn’t hear the water running so I knew Tammy would be out soon. Since I hadn’t completely closed the door, she didn’t hear me come into the bathroom.

For a brief second I thought about saying something real loud to scare her but decided against it. Instead I decided to just stand there and wait for her to pull open the shower curtain.

Almost Like a Scene From a Movie

I could tell Tammy was drying off and had no clue I was in the bathroom.

A few seconds later she pulled back the shower curtain and saw me standing there.

I may or may not have looked like this...

She kinda looked like this... minus the towel.

The second she saw me she screamed.

Actually she S-C-R-E-A-M-E-D!!

I could instantly tell this one was different than her usual screams which are only a 1-2 seconds long.

As this morning’s scream went past the five second mark, I noticed the tears welling up in Tammy’s eyes.

When the scream subsided she yanked the shower curtain closed and yelled at me.

Tammy: Get outta here. JERK!

Now My Eyes Are Leaking

I had started laughing even before she yelled at me and by the time she had closed the curtain I was doubled over.

I saw that Tammy was crying when she stuck her head around the curtain to see if I was still there which only made me laugh harder.

She finally pulled open the curtain and was now laugh-crying. I told her that my stomach was hurting from all the laughing and left the bathroom.

When Tammy came out of the bathroom we both started laughing again.

Me: I wasn’t even trying to scare you.
Tammy: I know. The whole time I was screaming my brain was going, “It’s just Jason,” but my mouth wouldn’t shut up. Jerk.

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4 Responses to Making My Wife Scream Brought Me Pleasure

  1. That Jack Nicholson gif is creepy. Yeesh. Now I’m going to have a hard time going to sleep tonight.

  2. I hope you don’t have more of those stocked up.

  3. Pingback: Wife’s Decision Tears Her Up | The Life of J-Wo

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