On my way to work today I saw something that had me shaking my head and thinking there must be something I don’t know.
Around 7:20 this morning I saw a group of people huddled in what I think was sposed to be a line in front of an AT&T store.
I watched them as I sat at the red light across the street and figured there must be a new iPhone coming out.
Turns out I was right and it was happening all over the world.
“It feels amazing, it is one of the greatest feelings in the world so far,”
— Tom Mosca, 15, who was first through the door after waiting for more than three days to snare an iPhone 4S.
Dude, you’re 15—that’s the kind of stuff you say after your first boob, which obviously you haven’t done yet. You should have spent the last four days trying to or at least thinking about getting to touch boobs, not standing in line to get a new phone.
You’ve basically just told all of the girls in your area that you are the King Dork of Sydney. When you’re 45 and still haven’t touched a boob, remember this feeling and think of how your life could have been different.
“I wanted it anyway, but (Jobs’ death) made me sort of want it more because this is the last one I know he worked on,”
— Dwight Hill, from an Atlanta suburb
Really Dwight? I didn’t realize that Steve Jobs hand-produced every single iPhone that’s rolling out. I bet you’ve got a lot of commemorative plates around your house to remind you of your favorite celebrities. It’s for your own good that I’m telling you this, but they didn’t actually eat off those plates.
Back in the Day a Line Meant Something
Now don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I’ve never waited in a line outside of a store waiting for it to open.
But it was for something way more important than a phone.
It was to get tickets so see any one of the 80s Hair Bands that dared to venture within driving distance of Tupelo, Mississippi.
Back then the information superhighway was only a dirt road and you definitely couldn’t get it on a cell phone.
Back then you couldn’t even get a cell phone in your pocket and the only person I know that actually had one was Zack Morris.
Does It Have iMagic?
So, I just don’t get the need to be first in line for a phone.
Is there a reward for getting an iPhone the second the store opens?
Do they give you unlimited credits on iTunes?
Do the first 10 phones that are sold contain an app that turns red lights green?
Are you hoping to be interviewed by the press since you’re the first person in line? Careful about getting your “15 Minutes” that way (see young Tom above).
This craze isn’t just for phones these days.
While not my thing, I can understand some of the early morning lines in front of stores the Friday after Thanksgiving when there are great deals and limited supplies.
If you follow me you know my thoughts on movies, but I don’t get why people get all crazed about going to the first showing when a new movie comes out.
Because I’ve never experienced this, I’m left to wonder if they get something special too.
Free popcorn? Drinks? Candy?
Special previews that no one else in the world gets to see?
Fortunately I only know a handful of Harry Potter
dorks fans, but I don’t want to ask them because I’m afraid they’ll start telling me about the movie so I’m fine with not knowing.
Yeah, But I’m…
But seriously, for those of you that DO stand in lines to get the first phone or see the first showing of a movie, what do you do with that distinction?
Do you gloat that you got to see Harry Potter before your friends did?
Does that make you the biggest, most powerful wizard?
If your friend walks into the AT&T store this afternoon and gets the same new iPhone you got at 8 a.m., would you say, “Yeah, but I’ve had mine for 5 hours longer than you.”?
I really don’t get it.
But maybe it’s better this way because at least I’ve touched a boob.