Is there any wonder the difference between sick and suck is only one letter? Of course not, because being sick sucks.

I’ve been in sick-mode since Monday night and it hasn’t been fun.

Fortunately it hasn’t been the spraying out of both ends type. Instead I’ve had the I can’t breath out of my nose, is there any more room left in my head type.

I felt it coming on Monday night and by the time I woke up Tuesday morning I felt like I had 20 pounds of crap stuffed inside the 10-pound container of my nose and head.

I spent Tuesday morning digging through our medicine to try and find something to relieve the building pressure in my head.

A Very Busy Sick Day

I was able to take something with breakfast and it was just starting to kick in when my cell phone rang.

I didn’t recognize the number but since I had been applying for jobs I knew needed to answer it.  Turned out to be a company calling to set up an interview Wednesday morning.

I told them I had come down with a cold but that I should be OK by Wednesday morning. It was really more wishful thinking on my part because I knew from experience how long  these things can linger.

That mid-morning phone call set off a frenzy of activity that started with me getting a haircut. Fortunately Tammy’s sister had an opening and I headed off to her salon, Salon Mackk, to get my hair did.

I’m a Pig, a Guinea Pig

After that I stopped by my doctor’s office to pick up a prescription and to see if she could give me anything to get me through Wednesday morning.

She looked through her samples and came across something that “the surgeons swear by” but she had never given to anyone.

Me: I don’t care. I’ll take it.

A little goes a long way.

She gave me a couple the samples and said to take them when I got home instead of in the morning since we didn’t know how I would respond.

As soon as I got home I made something to eat and opened one of the samples. It about the size of a 5-Hour Energy drink but only contained about a thimble worth of liquid.

I couldn’t believe how well it was working when it kicked in less than 30 minutes later.

I decided I’d take the second dose with some NyQuil before I went to bed.

Trust Me, I’m JWo-MD

For those of you that don’t know me, I have my own rules when it comes to medicine.

I’ll follow the directions on a box of Tylenol Cold that says to only take it every four hours, but after two hours I’ll take two DayQuil. The directions didn’t say I couldn’t take something else within the four-hour window.

I’m all for doing whatever it takes to get better, but sometimes it doesn’t always work.

Tuesday night was one of those times.

Twas the Night Before the Interview…

Don’t knock 'em til you try ’em.

I had taken my NyQuil around 9:30 Tuesday night and chased it with the Magic Sample medicine just as I was crawling in bed around 10.

Armed with my nasal strips, I slid under the covers and felt the Nyquil’s warm goodness take over my body as I drifted off to sleep.

Around 2 a.m. I jolted awake gasping for breath. I tried to breathe out of my nose but it was as if both sides were filled with wet cement.

I checked to see if my nasal strip had fallen off because I knew I could breathe out of my nose when I laid down, but it was still in place.

That’s when it hit me, the Magic Sample I took stopped working after about 4 hours.

I tried to go back to sleep but wasn’t having much luck, so I got out of bed and stumbled to the bathroom for more medicine. I don’t really remember what all I took, but I know it included a combination of Mucinex and another NyQuil liquid gel.

I found my way back to bed and drifted in and out of consciousness for the next two hours. That’s when I was jolted awake again.

Bad Night of Bad Memories

But this time it wasn’t JUST because I couldn’t breathe. It was also because my stomach was cramping and it was a cramp that brought along bad memories.

Back in December 2010, I had similar cramps just under my sternum. They were so bad it hurt to touch, it hurt to stand up straight and hurt to breathe.

My mind raced back to everything else that was associated with the Cramps of 2010 and headed to the bathroom, just in case.

Nothing happened, but the cramps continued so grabbed a garbage can and curled up on the couch. I’m not sure how long the cramps continued, but Tammy said she could hear me cussing and talking to myself until I finally passed out.

Tammy: What were you saying?
Me: I don’t know. But I remember thinking “I’m gonna have to cancel my interview. I need to get up, turn on my computer and email them to say I can’t go.”

Fortunately the Cramps of 2012 were all bark and didn’t have the same bite as the 2010 version.

The Pressure Keeps Building

By time I got up Wednesday morning the cramps were gone and I took some medicine that could dry up Lake Michigan and knew it would get me through my interview.

I’m not going to go into the details of the interview, the job or anything regarding that part of the day, but the medicine definitely did the trick. I didn’t have a single sniffle.

Not long after I got home I could feel the medicine wearing off and the pressure building inside my head.

I don't think it's working...

By bedtime I was back to the wet cement in my nose feeling and started looking for alternative solutions for relief.

I broke out the Vicks Vaporub and started slathering it on.

I was so stuffed up that I couldn’t smell anything, but apparently Tammy could.

Tammy: Oh my God. You’ve got so much of that stuff on that it’s burning MY nose.
Me: Really? I can’t even smell it.
Tammy: Next time I’m just gonna get you a paintbrush.

A few seconds later Tammy looked over at me then turned her back to me.

Tammy: Don’t sleep on your stomach because you might not be able to move cause you’d be stuck to the sheets.

New Plan of Attack

Because I had killed off all of the NyQuil and we needed butt-wipe (what we call toilet paper) I headed to Wal-Mart to stock up.

I hit the medicine aisle with a handful of coupons and began throwing the new meds in my basket.

I think I bought enough to get me through this bout of sick and maybe the next 2-3 as well.

I’m pretty sure I'm on the ”He’s making METH list” after buying all of this.

When I got home and started putting my bounty away, I came across the Mucinex bottle that I had raided Tuesday night.

I debated throwing it away because it was almost empty, but upon further inspection I think I found what had caused my stomach cramps.

Back in 2009 this was good for congestion but in 2012 it's good for cramps.

Needless to say the bottle has been thrown away.