For those of you who are new to The Life of JWo, I write our “Travel Logs” each day when we go on vacation. This is Day 4 of our 2012 trip to Myrtle Beach. You can read my 2009, 2010 and 2011 logs by clicking on the year.
Today was our first day on the beach by ourselves, which is one of the things we love about vacation.
It also means there was a lot of conversation between us and that always offers a little insight into our minds, which isn’t always a good thing.
I was looking through a magazine Tammy had picked up the day before and saw a recipe I thought she might like.
Me: Oh, you’d like this, except that it’s fish.
Tammy: I see jalapeno’s, which I don’t like. I can’t have tomatoes and don’t want fish. Why would I like this? Because it’s got olives in it?
Me: Shut up and read your stupid book.
Tammy: Kiss me.
I leaned over in my chair as far as I could and Tammy did the same but we were still close to a foot away from our lips touching.
Me: That’s good enough.
They Doing It Yet?
The book I told Tammy to read was the “50 Shades of Grey.” She was looking forward to seeing “what all the fuss was about” and started into this morning out on the balcony.
Anytime I saw Tammy reading the book I’d lean over and ask her “they doing it yet?” Most of the time her response was “No” because they were still “building the storyline.”
We had been down at the beach for several hours and went up to the room for lunch when Tammy suggested we take some of the Daily’s frozen alcoholic drinks back down to the beach.
She said she wanted the Pina Colada ones so I squeezed out two packages into a Tervis Tumbler and wondered how she would be able to drink it when I saw the frozen mass.
Since there was no liquid in the glass, I felt the need to do something to “help” make it easier for Tammy to drink.
I knew adding a shot of Cabo Wabo Tequila wouldn’t fit very well with the Pina Colada flavor, so I decided to add a healthy dose of Patron Citronge Extra Fine Orange Liqueur instead.
Of course I didn’t tell Tammy.
Bad Taste in Her Mouth
Tammy came out of the bedroom so I gave her the first drink I made and I could tell by her reaction that she didn’t like it.
Tammy: Eeeeewwww!! That tastes like whiskey.
I didn’t say anything.
I learned from my “mistake” and thawed out one of my pouches before pouring into my tumbler so it would be drinkable when I saw her try it again.
Tammy: God, why is this so strong?!
I still didn’t say anything. She turned up another sip, turned her face to the right and stuck her tongue out.
Me: I put a shot in that one.
Tammy: You did too you @sshole. Why are you trying to get me drunk? You jerk.
I Wanna Be a Cowboy, Baby
We made it down to the beach with our drinks when mentioned I was thinking about adding a new fashion item.
Me: I need to get me one of those straw cowboy hats. But I don’t ever see anyone down here wearing them.
Tammy: Please. I’ve seen a lot of people wearing stuff they shouldn’t be wearing, so you’d be fine. (See Pinkie.)
Let’s Go Surfing Now
It was around mid-afternoon when the Surfing Crew showed up and started “trying” to catch the waves by the pier. I said trying for a couple of reasons.
First, the waves weren’t really big enough to ride very long and second, most of them were using their boards to relax on instead of surfing. Of course, this didn’t get past Tammy.
Tammy: Surfing in like golf, a whole bunch of doing nothing. Actually I think you do more in golf. All they are doing is floating.
Me: Yeah. I could do that.
Tammy: Me to.
Me: All that one girl is doing is floating but she looks cool because she’s got dreads and a board.
Above the Law
It wasn’t long before I could tell that the frozen drink that Tammy kept slurping on was starting to kick in.
Tammy got irritated when one of the lifeguards went out with a Rescue Board but quickly wiped out, which caused his board to come out of the water and start making its way to the shore.
Tammy: He thinks he’s above the Surfer Law (because he didn’t have the board tethered to his leg). Who does that anymore?
One of the other lifeguards went over to grab the board and started talking to the “surfer guard.”
Tammy: His buddy is going over there to yell at him. “You dummy. I let you surf because I thought you knew what you were doing. You almost hit that guy in the head.”
Me: You’re drunk.
Tammy: I’m just telling the truth, that’s all.
Me: You’re drunk. You just keep jabbering.
Tammy: And playing vagina peek-a-boo. (sitting in her chair… starts opening and closing her legs) Peek-a-boo… Peek-a-boo.
Tammy: I’m not. I was dehydrated and now I’m not and the mix together is causing a commotion.
More Than a Feeling
Not long after the commotion comment we started packing up and headed back up to the room.
When we got up there I had Tammy scrub off some of the layers of SPF off my back when I noticed her “slow-blinking” at me, a sure sign she’s had a lot to drink.
Me: You’re drunk.
Tammy: I’m not. It’s just a feeling that I’d like to have more often though.
Me: That’s why we need to drink more.
Tammy: It’s a numbing sensation. But I don’t want to be numb to everything. Just a lot of things though.
Tammy: Plus, I don’t want to be drunk all the time because I want you to love me for me, not the drunk me.
Dirty Dick Has Crabs
spending wasting nearly an hour we decided to head back to North Myrtle Beach to eat and settled on Dirty Dick’s Crab House.
The only crab we got was in our crab drip appetizer, which was amazing. Tammy ordered some shrimp, garlic, mushroom dish that she wasn’t impressed with. She thought the mushrooms were canned and that they used Cream of Mushroom soup, which she hates.
I got one of the daily specials, grouper, which I got blackened. Of course I had to do something to make it unhealthy so I ordered a side of cheesy, corn grits and sweet potato fries. That combined with the awesome hush puppies they served pretty much cancelled out the healthy part of my fish.
We had so much food that I think we left with three to-go containers and headed back to the resort where we crashed for the night.
Total Miles Driven: 1,120.9