For those of you who are new to The Life of JWo, I write our “Travel Logs” each day when we go on vacation. This is Day 8 of our 2012 trip to Myrtle Beach. You can read my 2009, 2010 and 2011 logs by clicking on the year.

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We woke up this morning and headed down to the lobby for breakfast, then were off to Ashlee and Billy’s house.

Apparently flea markets are big in Spring Lake and Ashlee wanted to take us to a couple of ones she visits frequently.

The first one we went to was held in an old shopping center and wasn’t like the flea markets I was used to seeing in Tupelo, which is a lot more upscale than this one.

Part of the parking lot had been fenced off so vendors could set-up outside. Tammy had to pee so we went inside to find the bathroom and as soon as I saw how many booths were inside I was worried that we’d never leave.

The Noisy Bathroom

But before I could voice my concerns about needing to be on the road by 4 p.m. in order to get 6-7 hours of driving under out belt Tammy let me know about her bathroom experience.

Tammy: You would have loved it in there.
Me: Errrr, whhyyy?
Tammy: Because I was sitting next to Miss Toots-a-lot. She was farting and it was so loud.

After laughing I told her told her about my concerns.

Tammy: Oh, this won’t take long. There’s not a lot of stuff here I’m gonna like.

I understood what she meant because this was more like a giant garage sale than a flea market, but I also knew she would have to walk by every single booth and that would take a while.

We headed outside a little after noon and started looking through some of the booths. Because Spring Lake is right next to Fayetteville, the home of Fort Bragg, there were a TON of military items.

I wanted to look through them all, but Billy, who is stationed at Fort Bragg, told me not to waste my money and assured me he had stuff he could give me. I’m still waiting Billy.

Was That You?

We were cruising one of the booths near the fence when Tammy turned to ask me a question.

Tammy: Did you fart?
Me: No. Someone cranked a car.
Tammy: I don’t believe you because it stinks.
Me: It wasn’t me.

Really, it wasn’t.

It’s Not Gonna Fit

There were all kind kids toys that Tammy wanted to get for Baby Gavin.

There were kitchen sets, stuffed animals, Hot Wheels, basketballs, footballs and countless other items she wanted. But there was one thing she wanted but I wouldn’t let her get.

The Firetruck Cozy Coupe.

Tammy: I so wanna get that for Gavin.
Me: We can’t get it.
Tammy: Why?
Me: It won’t fit in the car.
Tammy: Are you sure?
Me: Yes. I can barely see over the backseat as it is.
Tammy: What if we took out the luggage and packed everything inside the car.
Me: It still won’t fit.
Tammy: You don’t know.
Me: I DO know.

The next few minutes were spent with her mumbling under her breath about me being a jerk and Ashlee telling us we could get it and leave it at her house.

We didn’t get it.

Pimps & Hookers-R-Us

As soon as we got inside I wished I had brought my camera so I could have taken pictures of all the hooker clothes and pimp suits I saw, both being worn and for sale.

But it was prolly best I didn’t have it because most likely I would have offended someone(s) by taking pictures of all the stuff.

IHOJ

Most of the booths were more like stores because they had so much stuff that there was no way they were emptying out every night or every week for that matter.

One booth we went into was called Lerch’s International House of Junk and it was one of Tammy’s favorites. That’s because the fat man, who I assume was Lerch, was kicked back in a recliner and started flirting with Tammy as soon as she walked in.

We circled the booth, most of which literally was junk, and were making our way out when we heard one of Lerch’s friends talking about someone they know getting a walker/stroller.

Lerch’s friend: They won’t give it to me and I got the diabetes in my feet.

I was already reaching for my little black book, where I keep my travel log notes, as I walked out of the booth when Tammy chimed in.

Tammy: You gotta write that down. He’s got the diabetes in his feet.

Food for the Road

We finished our rounds, headed to a much smaller flea market then stopped by Dollar General so Tammy could pick up a couple of boxes of her favorite cereal for the road.

We made a quick stop at Ashlee and Billy’s to say our goodbyes before turning our car toward home.

Our goal was to make it to Charleston, West Virginia for the night which was about six hours away.

But I knew we had some stops to make along the way.

Tammy’s Seal of Approval

As we neared the Greensboro area I noticed Tammy writing something down on a piece of paper.

Me: What are you doing?
Tammy: Writing down cities that would be OK for us to move to.

It wasn’t long before we saw signs for Winston-Salem.

Tammy: Oooooohhhh, Winston-Salem. Scary…
Me: Why is that scary?
Tammy: Because that’s where the Salem Witch Trials were.
Me: No it wasn’t.
Tammy: I think it was.
Me: I’m pretty sure it wasn’t.
Tammy: Well, I think it was.

Regardless Winston-Salem was added to the list.

Titty Mountain

One of the stops was at the scenic overlook just south of Mount Airy, which to my dismay did NOT make the list, so we could get a good view of what Billy called, “Titty Mountain,” or Pilot Mountain as it’s more commonly known.

When Tammy saw it in the distance she decided to nickname it herself.

Tammy: It looks more like a nipple. I think it should be Nipple Mountain instead of Titty Mountain.

I Got a Craving

I had been waiting to eat at a Chick-fil-a during the trip and knew that we had to find one tonight for that to happen because they are closed on Sundays.

We made a pee break and I pulled out my phone and found out that the closest one was in Bluefield, West Virginia. It wasn’t but a few minutes out of the way so I set my GPS and headed to “Eat Mor Chikin.”

As we got closer to where the GPS was leading us I started to wonder if we were in the right place because there was NOTHING around us.

But nestled into the mountainside was the Mercer Mall and the GPS told me this was our destination. I circled the mall parking lot, expecting to find the Chick-fil-a along the outside. But there were NO restaurants which meant it had to be inside.

We got out of the car and headed into the mall around 8:30 p.m. It was so quiet that I thought something was wrong because most malls I’ve been in are very noisy.

We checked the directory and realized we parked on the opposite side of mall from Chick-fil-a and had to hoof it down to the food court.

Me: This mall is awesome. They’ve got carpet on the floor.
Tammy: Oh yeah.
Me: That’s why it’s so quiet. But I like it.

We found the food court, ordered our meals, headed back to the car and got back on the road.

She’s Had Enough

We made it to a hotel in Charleston and I was pestering Tammy after she settled into the bed where she was reading “50 Shades of Grey.”

She ignored me for a while and when she couldn’t take it anymore she created another pillow wall and gave me a look.

Tammy: That’s it. We’re divorced. You stay on your side.

I laughed at her comment and decided it prolly be best if I stopped pestering her for a while. I snuggled up to the pillow wall as Day 8 came to a close.

Total Miles Driven: 1,707.9