I Can’t See It But I Know It’s Here


Everyone knows what Death looks like after it touches someone, after it releases its grip and snuffs the life out of someone we know or love.

Not everyone gets to see Death in action. If you haven’t be thankful.

I’m sitting here next to my stepdad, James, as he lays in bed, a shell of himself, surrounded by two of my nephews, my sister and my Mom.

Even though I can’t see it, somewhere in the room sits Death.

I know it’s here; its hands are wrapped around James, squeezing the life out of him, slowly and painfully.

This hurts more than when Death quickly takes someone we know and love.

I am helpless.

We all are for that matter.

Death is in control and knows it. It sits and smiles, enjoying the pain it’s causing.

All we can do is sit, watch, listen, and pray.

If I could see it I would fight. I would punch, kick, scratch and claw in an attempt to get it to let go of James, to release its grip ever so slightly.

We all would.

Death wouldn’t stand a chance. That’s why it hides from us.

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11 Responses to I Can’t See It But I Know It’s Here

  1. 14andpregnant says:

    That is so sad to read but you are a very good writer

  2. GingerSnaap says:

    Powerful and very sad. So very sorry for your family!

  3. Sanna says:

    This post takes me back to my uncle’s death. My godfather. My father’s brother and best friend. I there when he passed away in 2007…visited with him in the moments leading up to his death, though I was not in the room with him that final moment. That final goodbye was reserved for his wife and children. My thoughts are with your family at this difficult time.

  4. Great job Sanna, pointing out typos and incorrect sentence structures truly shows your compassion in such a difficult time for Jason and his family. You’re a real f–kin’ humanitarian.

    Jason, I’m very sorry for what your Stepdad, you, and all of your family are going through. But perhaps I view Death a little differently than most. It is not Death that is torturing your Stepdad, it is the evil that is the cancer that is eating him away from the inside. Bravely he fights the evil within, courageous to the very end, and I would hope that you will come to terms with the truth that Death will take him away from the pain and suffering that he is going through in our corporeal world, from the cancer that is internally destroying him. Then Death shall bring him across the river Styx where he will be eternally at peace, and where he will begin his ascension through Jesus Christ, and ultimately the light of Almighty God (or Yahweh, or YHWH, for whoever or whomever may not be Christian that reads this). May your remembrances of him for all of the wonderful moments you shared with him, while enjoying his life and what it meant to you, bring him, you, and all those that loved him Peace.

  5. Pingback: For the First Time in a Very Long Time | The Life of J-Wo

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