Huh? What? Where Am I?

You know those moments when you are startled awake but aren’t fully awake enough to remember what was going on?

Well, Friday night I had one of them.

Tammy and I were in bed when I heard her phone ringing, which happened to be on my said of the bed. Normally when her phone rings I grab it, see who it is and hand it over to her. But that didn’t happen Friday night.

Instead I grabbed the phone, saw it was Jake and answered it.

Now for those of you who don’t know me very well, I take medicine to help me sleep. Not the “fun” kind of medicine, like Ambien, just some over-the-counter “Sleepy Time” and a little something my doctor prescribed that helps me sleep deeply.

It just so happened Tammy’s phone rang after I had fallen into that deep sleep stage.

Huh? What? I gotta go to my Mom’s…

Fortunately Tammy helped me piece together and recall the night’s events which were a little foggy and hazy.

Me: Hello? Hey bud.
Jake: I just got back, the doors are lock and I don’t have my keys, can you let me in?
Me: Ohhhh, Oh, Ok… Did I lock the top lock too?
Jake: I don’t know but I can’t get in because I don’t have my keys.
Me: Well, I’m in Mississippi. I have to go to Mom’s then.
Tammy: No you’re not, who are you talking to?
Me: I’m at Goob’s house. I’ll have to go to Mom’s.
Jake: You are? Well how did you get Mom’s phone?
Me: (sat up) Oh, maybe I am in Illinois. Uh, OK, I’ll do it in a few minutes. I’ll be there in a few minutes.
Tammy: Who are you talking to? What are you talking about?
Me: It was Jake. He needs me to let him in.

I got up, put my shorts and went to the bathroom. I remember wondering how I was going to be able to drive to my Mom’s, still not realizing that I wasn’t in Tupelo.

When I got back to the bedroom Tammy started questioning me again.

Tammy: Did you let him in?
Me: No, he’s not here. I have to go to Mom’s to let him. He’s not here… is he?
Tammy: Yes he is. Can’t you hear him?

Apparently they were banging on the back door but I was completely oblivious to it as I walked to the bathroom. Tammy got out of bed and went to let Jake and Ben in. I was coming out of my stupor when she walked back into the room and started making fun of me.

Me: You shut up. Just shut up. Don’t say anything.
Tammy: What the hell is wrong with you?
Me: When I was going to the bathroom I was standing there thinking “How am I gonna drive to Mom’s?”
Tammy: This is exactly why I know I can never call you in the middle of the night for anything. We better tell Kristan (her sister who is due to hatch out another baby in the next few days) to rethink calling you to watch Gavin in the middle of the night.
Me: Shut it.
Tammy: (mocking me) I’m in Mississippi. (laughing)

I have no doubt she said more than that but I couldn’t keep my eyes open any longer.

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8 Responses to Huh? What? Where Am I?

  1. Carlos says:

    One of the best things I have read in a long time. Thanks for the laugh Tammy and Jason. ” I’m in Mississippi “. “No you are not” PRICELESS

  2. Dan says:

    I think ZZ Top already wrote a song about this….

  3. GingerSnaap says:

    I think I need some of that sleepy time medicine! Sounds like a gooood time!

  4. Patrick says:

    Cabo before bed!?

  5. CaptKitty says:

    Since Tammy rendered you useless for any related emergency during the middle of the night, you now have the perfect excuse to mix a little vodka with your sleepy time drugs and really conk out. Best sleep you’ll ever get! Just don’t forget to snuggle up with your dog. They keep you warm.

  6. Pingback: Why Are You Here? | The Life of J-Wo

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