A Peek Behind the Curtain

Thanks to my handy digital recorder, I was able to “recall” conversations today between Tammy and I that might have otherwise been forgotten.

On her NOT having a Smartphone…
Tammy: I see those ads where you can take a picture and it pulls stuff up, but I don’t have one of those Smartphones and prolly won’t for at least a year. By the time I get one, who knows what’s gonna come out and I’m not gonna how to do it or anything.
Me: (laughing) Yeah… you know how to “do it.”
Tammy: That’ll be about the only thing I know how to do.

When I said I could take a job as the night manager at the small grocery store by our house…
Tammy: You could tell your Mom (who owns a grocery store in Tupelo) that it’s right by our house so Tammy could come and visit me.
Me: You wouldn’t do that.
Tammy: That’s not the point. The point is it’s a possibility.

When she wondered what people were thinking when they saw us walking…
Tammy: People are prolly thinking when they see us walking that, “Awww, they don’t have a car.” That’s what I think when I see people walking.
Me: That’s why I put this (workout shorts and a Nike RUN shirt) on so it’s not just “normal” clothes. I got workout clothes. It tricks people.

Tammy might fall in break her hip in one of these.

When we walked by a Chrysler 300 in a parking lot…
Me: I do like these. I’d get one of these.
Tammy: Kathy has one of these cars and I don’t like them. First of all, they are horrible in the snow. Horrible.
Me: No, that’d be like when I’m 68 and we’re living somewhere down South. It’d be a nice car for us to get out of when we are old.
Tammy: I’d prefer just a regular Cadillac if that’s the case.
Me: Oh, I see how it is.
Tammy: Not a FAKE Cadillac. A real Cadillac. They’re not to low to the ground, they are sleek, not to high so that I’d fall and break my hip getting out of it.
Me: (laughing) That’d be funny.
Tammy: (pretending to fall) OOOhhh…
Me: (pretending to be Tammy) I told you I needed a real Cadillac.

As we walked out of the 2nd grocery store this morning…
Tammy: Why do you always act like you are better than me?
Me: Who’s acting?

When we were walking along a fence by the grocery store…
Tammy: When I was in fourth grade, I used to walk along a very small ledge that was prolly this high, that went around like this.
Me: Yeah?
Tammy: It was a ledge like this. It was up against a fence like this and K-Mart and stuff was down there, when I was in Hoffman Estates (Illinois). I used to walk along it all the time with my friends.
Me: (pause, waiting for more) That’s it? You didn’t fall or anything?
Tammy: No. Never. I just think it’s pretty cool thinking about it now. I’m like, “Gesh, I coulda hurt myself.” And you’re like, “That’s a stupid story.”
Me: I was expecting you to say somebody jumped out and scared you or something.
Tammy: No, but if I had fallen I would have broken something for sure.

Tammy’s dream job location.

Talking about the “dream job” she wanted when she was a kid…
Tammy: That’s when I realized, at such a young age, that my dream in life was to be a K-Mart cashier. That’s what I always wanted to do.
Me: So your dream was to be a K-Mart cashier? Well, you became a cashier (at Dominick’s grocery store) just not a K-Mart cashier. There’s still time in life though to make that happen.

Talking about how easy cashiers today have it…
Tammy: Do you have easy cashiers have it these days?
Me: Yeah?
Tammy: When I was a cashier, they didn’t have scales like this, down here. They had the scales UP, above the cash register thing. You had to put things up on the scale, up on the thing.

When she got home from a trip to Wal-Mart
Tammy: Hey Jason, I love you.
Me: I love you too.
Tammy: I said I loveD you, past tense.

When I noticed she got a difference juice than she normally gets…
Me: I didn’t know if you got the right one because the container looks the similar.
Tammy: I’m not like you, Jason. I know what I’m doing.

While watching House Hunters and they were showing a house on Tybee Island near Savannah, Georgia…
Tammy: One thing I’m gonna do when I win the lottery is buy my own beach house.
Me: Your own, as in I’m not allowed there?
Tammy: That’s why I said when I win the lottery.

Talking about moving the furniture in the basement so Tammy could sit next to me…
Me: I could move the couch down and move your recliner so it’s next to my spot.
Tammy: Do I really need to be that close to you?
Me: Sometimes I like it when you are.
Tammy: Not very often.

When I asked for any other funny things Tammy said today…
Me: What other funny things did you say today?
Tammy: I don’t know Jason. Why is it up to me to remember how funny I am? That should be something you should never forget.

When she heard me listening to the recording…
Tammy: Who is that kid on the video?
Me: It’s you and it’s not a video.
Tammy: REALLY??

As she was getting ready to go to Gavin’s birthday party…
Tammy: I’m not purposely gonna be funny so you can write sh!t in your blog.

On our way back from Gavin’s birthday party…
Me: It’s taking everything I can to have a conversation with you.
Tammy: That’s not unusual.
Me: Yes it is. We have plenty of conversations.
Tammy: Not good ones.
Me: Of course we do.
Tammy: We just talked about the square footage of Crystal Lake. That’s not a good conversation, that’s just a (pause) conversation.
Me: Well, what makes a good conversation?
Tammy: Stuff. And don’t be turning your thing (recorder) on and hiding it from me.
Me: Like what’s good stuff?
Tammy: You are to, you jerk!
Me: (laughing) I’m not.
Tammy: Are to.
Me: (laughing) I’m not.
Tammy: You did (turn it on). I can tell by the way you are.

She was right, I did have it on and she hasn’t spoken to me since we got home.

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12 Responses to A Peek Behind the Curtain

  1. It’s good Tammy doesn’t live in San Antonio. We don’t even have K-mart anymore. Her dreams would be dashed.

  2. CaptKitty says:

    Tammy is probably thinking of an awesome why to get revenge for recording the convos. When you least expect it, she’ll strike. That’s what I do when the Hubby picks on me.

  3. Funny stuff, J-Wo! I love your conversations, “good” or otherwise. The recorder was a brilliant move. Will we be seeing Savannah today?

  4. muddledmom says:

    You are a sneak! You’re going to get in big trouble! I hope she gets you back too.

    • JWo says:

      I secretly think she loves it because she likes people thinking she’s funny. She is, but I can’t let her know that or she will get a big head.

  5. Darby says:

    I love Tammy !

  6. Pingback: Day 37 – A picture of your favorite place to shop | Nizy's Life Compendium

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