Today I picked up something for Tammy that she has been wanting for the past few months. While I figured she would be excited, I had no idea just how much.
Especially considering what I got her was a new bathroom scale.
I had taken the scale out of the package and had it sitting on the table so Tammy could see it when she got home. She looked at it and immediately started in with her questions.
Tammy: How much did you weigh?
Me: I didn’t weigh myself yet because I wanted you to be the first person on it.
The scale is WAY more fancier than our previous non-digital scale. Along with weight, this one measures body fat, hydration levels, body mass index and bone mass. It also saves and tracks the last 12 weigh-ins for four different users.
She disappeared into her closet and came back into the living room wearing only her bra and panties. She moved the scale to the floor and asked me how it worked. I got out the instructions and started walking her through everything.
Me: I wish I could take your picture right now.
Me: Because you are in your underwear and squatting by the scale. I think people would think it was funny.
Tammy: I wouldn’t.
Me: I know. That’s why I’m not taking it.
She went through all of the steps to get it set up to track her weight then stepped on the scale for the first time. While she wasn’t pleased with her weight it, wasn’t “as bad” as she was thinking.
She weighed herself about four more times before we left for our walk and you would have thought she won the lottery when the scale showed she lost 0.2 pounds.
Tammy: How is that even possible?
Me: Maybe you farted.
I was ready to leave for the walk but Tammy couldn’t understand how I could go without stepping on the scale.
Tammy: How come you didn’t weigh yourself?
Me: Because I don’t care.
Tammy: How can you not care?
Me: I just don’t. It’s all about how I feel.
Tammy: Well then. How can you not care if you’re a Fatty McFatterson?
Me: Are you calling me fat?
Me: I’ll just weigh myself later. When we get back.
Tammy: You can’t do it after [we walk], you gotta do it now. That’s not fair.
I weighed myself under Tammy’s watchful eyes.
Tammy: I have more body fat that you?
Me: I dunno. I guess.
Tammy: That’s stupid.
We went for our walk and I was thinking the conversation was going to revolve around the scale (I brought the recorder just in case), but instead we talked about Fantasy Football.
As we got closer to the house the scale again took center stage.
Me: You’re gonna weigh yourself like six times a day now.
Tammy: No I’m not.
Me: Yes you will. You’ll weigh yourself when we get back.
Tammy: No I won’t. I’ll weigh myself in the morning before I get in the shower.
Me: Why not do it after you get out of the shower so you’ll lose dirt and stuff from overnight.
Surprisingly she did not weigh herself when we got back home.
I’m just glad we got the scale AFTER Tammy brought home the 40+ mini donuts that we polished off in less than 48 hours.