Today Was Supposed to be Different

This morning was sposed to be different from the 230 days before it and I had been getting nervously excited about it.

But, for reasons beyond my control, today is going to be just like it has been since Jan. 16, 2012 in that I’m waking up without a job to go to.

A couple of weeks ago I went to an interview for a freelance position that was scheduled to start this morning at 9 a.m. But yesterday afternoon I found out that the plug was pulled on the project which meant today would be like the previous 7 months, 17 days.

I haven’t written about my employment status for a variety of reason, partially because I didn’t, and don’t, want to talk about my interviews or potential positions in case future employers read my blog and because, well, what’s funny about me going to interviews (besides me being six months away from not fitting into my suit).

I was all ready to write about how I wish I had gotten a lot more stuff done around the house; how Tammy won’t know what to do in the mornings without me making her breakfast and packing her lunches; how she wasn’t looking forward to having to start dinner since I was going to be coming home later than her.

I was going to write about how I was ready for the personal interactions that working in an office brings. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy all of the extra time I have had with Savannah, but she’s not much on conversation and wants her butt scratched too much, something that’s frowned on in an office setting.

That’s what I was going to write about.

Instead I’m going write about how, while I am sad about not getting to work on a project that sounded like a lot of fun, I know that this door was closed for a reason, and even though I don’t know the reason, I’m OK with it.

I know that this closed door is just a minor setback in my life, one of many that I will encounter as I continue my journey. I know that I have to continue to stay strong and be patient because the right door will open when it’s sposed to open, not when I want it opened.

I haven’t let me having or not having a job define me and I’m not going to start now. I just need to regroup and refocus.

I now know I have a little more time to get stuff done around the house, that Tammy won’t have to worry about breakfast for a little while longer, that Savannah will still need her butt scratched and that the sun is going to continue to come up in the mornings.

But most importantly I know that the right door will open for me…

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20 Responses to Today Was Supposed to be Different

  1. CaptKitty says:

    You should go into public speaking. I wish I had your mentality. Every time a door gets slammed in my face, I vent vehemently.

  2. muddledmom says:

    You’re right. It’s tough when you’re on this side of things, but once you get through that door and look back, you’ll know everything fell into place at just the right time and for the right reasons. Even though that project fell through, they may use you for something else or pass your name along. Good luck!

    • JWo says:

      I know my time will come. It just cut a little deeper this time because I really felt this was it and I was looking forward to it. Then having it pulled out from under me at the last minute left me reeling, but it also made me think. It made me wonder why, made me ask myself what have I been doing, what should I be doing, what am I sposed to learn from this…

  3. Annie says:

    I believe all things happen for a purpose, even though we don’t always understand.
    Savannah will be depressed when you actually do have the right door open. 😉

    • JWo says:

      See my comment above. I wrote it and it applies to several of the comments I’ve gotten today. Thank you for the kind words.

      You’re right about Savannah being depressed although I’m not sure how I’ll be able to tell since she’s only awake for about an hour during the time I’m home. haha…

  4. La La says:

    Hang in there! I also believe the right doors will open 🙂

    • JWo says:

      See my comment to Muddled Mom…

      Thank you for the kind words La La… This one definitely hurt worse than some of the other doors that didn’t open because it WAS open and closed just as I was about to walk through it.

  5. shoes says:

    You have a great attitude about your situation and I think when the right door opens (and it surely will) it will take you far.

    Have you considered the possibility that Savannah is sabotaging your job leads due to her knowledge that her butt scratching days will be coming to an end when you head off to work? 😉

  6. I love your positive outlook on things and completely agree with you. While you’re still home you need to make a butt scratching device for Savannah….she won’t know what to do after the right door opens!

  7. We might have an opening for a bulldog butt scratcher soon…

  8. Marissa says:

    I have been going thru “set backs” as well and the only thing that gets me by is knowing that in the end everything will be okay. Just have to have faith that it will. Youre staying positive which is the best thing to do..and sometimes the hardest. Keep your head up and hope everything else is going well.

  9. I am sorry, being an independent contractor I also emphasize having this happen more often than I can count over the years. Frankly it sucks. I pick up work, a lower rate than normal but it keeps me busy though and keeps money coming in at O-Desk. I don’t know what you do, but you might want to look into it.

  10. Pingback: I’m Back in the Saddle Again | The Life of J-Wo

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