This morning was sposed to be different from the 230 days before it and I had been getting nervously excited about it.
But, for reasons beyond my control, today is going to be just like it has been since Jan. 16, 2012 in that I’m waking up without a job to go to.
A couple of weeks ago I went to an interview for a freelance position that was scheduled to start this morning at 9 a.m. But yesterday afternoon I found out that the plug was pulled on the project which meant today would be like the previous 7 months, 17 days.
I haven’t written about my employment status for a variety of reason, partially because I didn’t, and don’t, want to talk about my interviews or potential positions in case future employers read my blog and because, well, what’s funny about me going to interviews (besides me being six months away from not fitting into my suit).
I was all ready to write about how I wish I had gotten a lot more stuff done around the house; how Tammy won’t know what to do in the mornings without me making her breakfast and packing her lunches; how she wasn’t looking forward to having to start dinner since I was going to be coming home later than her.
I was going to write about how I was ready for the personal interactions that working in an office brings. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy all of the extra time I have had with Savannah, but she’s not much on conversation and wants her butt scratched too much, something that’s frowned on in an office setting.
That’s what I was going to write about.
Instead I’m going write about how, while I am sad about not getting to work on a project that sounded like a lot of fun, I know that this door was closed for a reason, and even though I don’t know the reason, I’m OK with it.
I know that this closed door is just a minor setback in my life, one of many that I will encounter as I continue my journey. I know that I have to continue to stay strong and be patient because the right door will open when it’s sposed to open, not when I want it opened.
I haven’t let me having or not having a job define me and I’m not going to start now. I just need to regroup and refocus.
I now know I have a little more time to get stuff done around the house, that Tammy won’t have to worry about breakfast for a little while longer, that Savannah will still need her butt scratched and that the sun is going to continue to come up in the mornings.
But most importantly I know that the right door will open for me…