Most people cringe when they open their mailbox and find a letter summoning them to jury duty. But as most of you that follow The Life of JWo already know, Tammy isn’t like most people.
Jury duty is something Tammy has been looking forward to doing for years and it reached a crescendo when I sat on a jury a couple of years ago. Until today.
When I got the mail earlier this afternoon I noticed something from the McHenry County Jury Commission that was addressed to Tammy. I debated on calling or texting her to let her know about the envelope but decided to wait so I could see (and hear) her reaction in person.
Her reaction did NOT disappoint.
I sat at the table watching her go through the mail, listening her to talk about her day. I had purposely put her jury letter at the bottom of the stack but on top of the Victoria’s Secret magazine.
She was leaning toward the kitchen, about to throw away the junk mail she had in hand, and was telling me a story when she looked down at The Letter. She was like a little kid who just ran downstairs to see everything Santa had left on Christmas Eve.
She stopped in her tracks, and mid-story, her mouth fell open and her eyes widened as she stared it for nearly five seconds before reaching down to pick up and open the letter.
Tammy: Did you see it?!?!
Me: Yeah. (laughing)
Me: Your face.
She ripped open the envelope, pulled out the sheet and scanned before excitedly reminding me that this topic had come up before.
Tammy: I was just talking about this!!
She continued to read over the sheet.
Then she brought herself back to reality.
Tammy: It’s gonna be something stupid I bet. It’s just an affidavit questionnaire.
Me: Yeah, I know. You have to fill it out and send it in. Then they’ll contact you and tell you when to come in.
Tammy: I’m so excited Jason!!
Me: I know baby.
She didn’t think it was funny when I told her I made sure The Letter was last.
Tammy: You’re so mean to me.
Me: How’s that mean?
Tammy: ’cause you were just sitting there waiting on me.
Me: Yup. I was like, “it’s coming, it’s coming.”
Tammy: Was it all you thought it would be?
Me: Yeah. I knew you’d be excited and you’ll be more excited the more you think about it.
Tammy: But I’m not called to jury yet.
Me: No, you just have to fill that out and send it in.
Tammy: Oh, can I do it on there (website)? Is that what they are saying?
Tammy: Oh yeah!! That’ll be quicker! I’ll do it that way!
She started dancing as she read the questionnaire aloud. I could tell her mind was racing with visions of Law & Order, The Good Wife and C.S.I episodes when I reminded her that she prolly won’t get a “good” case because her sister is a county corrections officer.
Tammy: You’re right. It’ll prolly be something stupid and I won’t even get picked because of JENNY.
Me: But it might be a civil case.
Tammy: But I don’t want a civil case. I want a mean and dirty criminal case. That’s what I want, a mean and dirty criminal case.
Me: What’s mean and dirty?
Tammy: I don’t know. Something bad. Something they need us to deliberate for a long time because it’s gonna be hard to determine. I don’t know.
She walked into the kitchen to finally throw away the mail from earlier. When she came out she picked up her jury discussion that led into a tirade about her sister.
Tammy: We were just talking about that. That’s crazy…
Tammy: She’s not my real sister, she’s my half-sister. Does that count?
Me: (shaking my head) Sigh.
Tammy: I don’t talk to her very much anyway. If need be I can go two weeks without talking to her, that’s not a problem at all. (laughs then looks at me) Do you think that would work? (shakes her fists) F^cking Jenny!!
A little while later, I reminded her that she had to get her NFL confidence picks in.
Tammy: Oh crap!! I got sidetracked by The Jury.
I don’t know when she’s going to be called but I do know she’ll be the most excited person in the courthouse when she is.