A few days ago I had one of those “oh no you didn’t” moments with someone who I never expected to have it with, my doctor.

No, she didn’t poke something somewhere I wasn’t expecting. Actually, I wish she had because at least then I would have an explanation instead of being left scratching my head.

Because I didn’t have insurance I haven’t seen my doctor in several months which means some of my subscriptions prescriptions had gone unfilled. So once my insurance kicked in I got in touch with her to get everything refilled.

I called her the Tuesday before Thanksgiving and we talked for a few minutes about her kids and what I’d been up to with my new job. When I brought up wanting to get my prescriptions refilled and asked if I could stop by her office, she told me that she no longer was in that office. In fact she didn’t even have an office anymore.

She told me that she had something in the works for a new office and to call her back after the Thanksgiving break, so I did.

I waited a full week after Thanksgiving before calling her. We talked again and at one point I thought she was going to cry when one of her boys broke something that she had warned them not to break. She kept talking with me during her near breakdown and eventually told me to call her on the following Monday.

I said I would call her early, after she saw the kids off to school.

I called at 8:15 that morning and left a voice-mail. I called again at 10:45 and 1:30 but didn’t leave a message. So I was kind of surprised when she actually picked up the phone when I called around 3:45.

That’s when things started to get weird.

Me: Hey, Doctor [name withheld], it’s Jason.
Doctor: Oh hey, I’ve been sick.

My first thought was that she sure didn’t sound sick, but whatever. Why would my doctor make something like that up, right?

She then proceeded to tell me about how her youngest son was wanting hot dogs and that he likes to put ketchup on them (which is sposed to be a big no-no in Chicagoland).

Doctor: He likes to put a LOT of ketchup on his hot dogs.
Me: Oh, really?
Doctor: I mean a LOT of ketchup. He covers the entire thing to where you can’t even see it. But I don’t think we have any ketchup in the house. He’s not going to be happy about that.
Me: Yeah, you’re prolly right.

I waited a few seconds before bringing up the prescription question again.

Me: So, what do you think we can do about the prescriptions? The insurance I have is going to end soon (when my freelance position ends) and the only reason I got it was so I could get my prescriptions refilled. I can meet you somewhere if you want, like if you have to go to the hospital or something.

Silence, like 60-90 seconds of silence.

Me: Hello? Doctor [name withheld]?

I looked at my phone to see if we were still connected and saw that we were, which confused me because things would have made a little more sense had we been disconnected. I put the phone back to my ear and started to hear my doctor’s voice in the background.

She was talking to her kids, asking them if they wanted pizza for dinner and telling them, loudly, that they needed to get things cleaned up.

I didn’t remember her telling me to hold on, but maybe she did while I was talking. I decided to keep holding with the thinking she’d eventually come back to the phone.

I waited and waited.

I told myself that she was coming back.

Although I couldn’t make out what she was saying, I still hear her talking and after about five minutes I started to get upset.

Three minutes later I checked the phone, saw I was still connected and started to get mad. At the 10-minute mark I was fuming and hung up the phone.

I couldn’t believe that my doctor for the past 10+ years had just put down the phone and walked away… for 10 minutes. I kept thinking she would call me back, but she never did.

Really? You’re just gonna leave me on the table…

She had kept me on the phone when one of her kids broke something, so why would she put the phone down to get ketchup for a hot dog?

The more I thought about it the more I couldn’t believe what happened.

Seriously, that’s the kind of thing I used to do to telemarketers.

I mean, really, who does that to someone they know? Especially a doctor?

I tried calling her back, once, the next day. I haven’t tried since and haven’t heard from her either.

So, today I’m off to see a new doctor, one who hopefully won’t leave me sitting on the table talking to myself.