Despite not writing much during the new year, 2013 has been very busy for me. Just this past week I was back down South, visiting with my family… and gaining weight.

Seriously.

One of the reasons I love going back South is the food. When I’m down there I always stuff myself with some good ol’ Southern cooking. This trip was no different, except for the fact that I only actually ate one “home cooked” meal, and I was there from Sunday thru Friday.

The first meal I had at my Mom’s house was Monday morning. She was already gone for the morning but had left breakfast food out for me. Despite eating alone I had three biscuits and five pieces of bacon, real bacon at that.

I can’t remember the last time I had real bacon because I always buy turkey bacon and after eating five pieces I was reminded why.

Lunch on Monday consisted of food from Danver’s, a Tupelo establishment that’s been around for over 20 years. I went over to my sister’s (Goob) Monday night to watch Monday Night Raw with The Boys and had my only real home-cooked meal of the week, BBQ chicken breasts, homemade garlic mashed potatoes and fried okra.

Tuesday morning was a microwaved sausage biscuit, one taco for lunch and dinner at the Fresh Market Cafe. It had only been two days and I was feeling like a needed some vegetables.

My dinner at the Fresh Market Cafe: fried catfish, squash, corn casserole, black eyes peas and corn bread.

The first Big Bloke of the night.

Wednesday morning I took my nephew to Waffle House so I could get me some hash browns (scattered, covered, smothered and chunked).

I then met my step-brother, also named Jason, and his wife, Melissa, for dinner at Outback Wednesday night.

I had only been there for three days and I already felt like I had eaten so horrible that I decided NOT to get the Aussie Cheese Fries or their delicious wings.

Instead I went with the Seared Ahi Tuna and a side salad.

If I had know what was in store for me on Thursday, I would have eaten two salads.

Since my Mom owns a grocery store, she was going to “The Food Show” (I don’t know what it was officially called). On our way out of town we stopped at a Sonic Drive-in for breakfast and I got a giant breakfast burrito.

The Food Show is where a bunch of vendors set up their food displays and let store owners/managers know how much a pallet of their goods cost.

They also provide samples, a lot of samples.

This was the first thing I sampled, around 9 a.m.

Some of the delicious goodies…

Cookie sammiches…

Fancy cakes…

Mother’s Day cakes…

Easter cakes…

Fancy strawberry cakes…

Cupcakes that look like a pizza.

Then there was the 15-foot strawberry cake.

I ate so much sugary sweets from 9 to 10 that morning that I seriously thought I gave myself “the ’betes.”

We kept plodding around the food show as I felt myself slipping into a sugar coma.

Then around 11 my Mom started talking about eating lunch. I wasn’t hungry but I made myself eat anyway (jambalaya and a brat).

Mom looked at some of the pricing for a few minutes after lunch but it wasn’t long before she started talking about wanting some of that giant, 15-foot long strawberry cake.

We made our way back over to the cake and started looking over our pieces.

I figured we’d just split a piece, but I was wrong. We each ended up with a piece of strawberry cake and added a piece of coconut cake too.

My piece of the big strawberry cake, with a side of coconut cake.

I was so full I only at one peanut.

We wrapped up our trip at The Food Show, ran a few errands in the Memphis area and around 4:45 Mom mentioned eating dinner. Surprisingly I wasn’t really hungry, but I decided we should get something to eat.

We stopped at a Colton’s Steak House and Grill and I was so full that I literally ate one peanut from the can they left on our table.

But I wasn’t so full that I couldn’t devour the ENTIRE rib eye steak I ordered or the sweet potato fries and fried okra.

Friday morning I got up and had breakfast with my Dad at Hardee’s, which is never a healthy way to start anyone’s day.

I didn’t help matters any on my way home.

I had never seen these before so I HAD to get it, right.

I also HAD to get the new flavor of the month at Dairy Queen, chocolate covered strawberry.

I’m still not sure if I gave myself the diabetus, but I am certain that I added a few pounds and a few inches to my waist.

I’m also certain that I had a good time with everyone down there.