We’ve only been in our apartment for a little over a month and haven’t really met any of our neighbors… until yesterday.
I got home from work and immediately took Savannah out for a walk. As we were going through the parking lot I spotted one of our neighbors talking on the phone on her balcony.
I smiled and waved as we walked under where she was standing and was surprised when I heard her asking me a question.
Neighbor: What kind ah dawg is dat?
Me: A bulldog.
Neighbor: That’s wha’ I thought. (pause) She needs ta lose sum weight.
Me: Heeeyyy!!
Neighbor: She fat!! (laughs) She need to be on a diet. (laughs again)
Me: She’s NOT fat. In fact she’s actually LOST weight. She’s just taller than other bulldogs.
At this point I realized she wasn’t listening anymore and Savannah was dragging me off to the nearest patch of grass.
As I stood there waiting for her to go to the bathroom I thought about what I WISH I had said to our neighbor.
Neighbor: What kind ah dawg is dat?
Me: A bulldog.
Neighbor: That’s wha’ I thought. (pause) She needs ta lose sum weight.
Me: Heeeyyy!!
Neighbor: She fat!! (laughs) She need to be on a diet. (laughs again)
Me: Really? This coming from the lady is always out on her balcony wearing a shower cap and a bathrobe? The lady who’s stomach sticks out so far that she can’t see her feet? You calling my dog fat… that’s funny.
Fortunately for me that conversation stayed inside my head, but I can’t make any promises that it’ll stay there if she says something the next time.
The Life of J-Wo 
First Comcast, now this. You are screwed.
Be careful, dude. Never know who has a crazy temper these days. No need to take a bullet from any local yokels. Just sayin’. We’re having an after hours gathering at Millrose today. Wish you could be there. We all miss you up here in Chicagoland. 🙂
shower cap and bathrobe….you won’t get shot…but i can bet, she will cut you! lol
Our nasty neighbor just moved last week, and we got new friendly neighbors. We are so happy that all of his issues are now gone with him and we are looking forward to a better relationship with the new neighbor! I just subscribed to your blog today and I am glad that I found your blog. I loved all the posts that I have read so far! I am looking forward to catching up on all of your writings! Hope you stop by to visit me too!