Things I Have Overheard Pt XII

I usually take a little notebook and pen with me when I’m away from my computer and this past week was one of those times I was very glad I did.

This week there were #overheard gems at the bar as well as at the pool, which has recently been a hotbed of activity thanks to some of the people we have met.

Don’t forget that you can use the hashtag (#) in Facebook now, so start listening and start tagging.

Now here’s Part XII of Things I Have Overheard.

I somehow managed to get a sockline [tan] on Saturday. #overheard

If you get it too firm, it’s nasty. #overheard

I’ve never seen this before. #overheard

The only good wasp is one that’s dragging a dead spider. #overheard

The only thing I have going against me is my youth. People don’t expect people my age to be in charge. #overheard

Awww, come on, I don’t wanna see the box. #overheard

You look funny today because you’re hair’s not sticking up. #overheard

I’m a nerd for wrestling like [coworker] is for Magic and trolls. #overheard

I just realized that I am a troll. #overheard

I’m always so extreme. #overheard

Y’all are welcome to play with, what is this thing called? That thing. #overheard

If I wasn’t me, it would make it even harder. #overheard

CW 1: If I had my choice, which I don’t, I’d go to bed at 11.
CW 2: You don’t have a choice? Who does?
CW 1: My wife.

For some reason I really feel like the photo room smells like French Onion dip. #overheard

You can do it on the front, or you can do it on the back when they get bigger. #overheard

Everyone is afraid to beat their kids in public, but sometimes that’s where they need it the most. #overheard

Some kids need preemptive beatings. #overheard

I stopped it before it got to the mouth. #overheard

I so wanna chop somebody in the throat one day. #overheard

They were still in there and still making noise. #overheard

You eat all of that… In one sitting? #overheard

Pirate guy was here for a bit, talking bout titties and then when he left he said I looked sexy. Is it really a compliment when he only has one eye? #overheard

I know it’ll be hard for you to believe this, but I was actually pretty good the couple of times I played Dodgeball. #overheard

CW 1: I can’t believe how fast they got in there, it was like overnight.
Me: That’s not that fast. That’s like 8 hours. #overheard

It sucks that I got nothing. #overheard

The name of that movie makes me think of somebody licking a buhhole. #overheard

I think you played with this more than I did. #overheard

I enjoy sex more than drugs. #overheard

I literally get shivers just thinking about that thing. #overheard

They always do stupid sh!t. #overheard

You need funner weekends. #overheard

I never met a comic book nerd that didn’t like Chinese food. #overheard

Being good f^cks you. #overheard

He might have, maybe when he was younger, accidentally got laid. #overheard

That’s my new thing, to cook naked… until I clip a nipple then I’m gonna be mad. #overheard

If you had a third nipple that’s awesome. I’ve only seen that on the TV. #overheard

That’s what I need, a gaymance. #overheard

I don’t want no catfish hands jerking off me, I tell you that. #overheard

I thought he was gonna have a come-apart. #overheard

If you have a day where you have 10 minutes, you can squeeze on in. #overheard

If you want it, come grab it. #overheard

I don’t twat or Tweet or whatever it’s called. #overheard

All three of my girlfriends lost their virginity to my brother. #overheard

Have you even been to Sea World and seen yourself? You look like Shamu. #overheard

Every time he gets around you he gets all horny. #overheard

Kids are only good for a certain amount of time, then they get annoying. #overheard

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