Just the other day Tammy told me she didn’t like my #overheard posts anymore. Of course, the fact that it was after I got off the couch to find my notebook and write down something funny she had said might have had something to do with her disapproval.

But since she was gone last week, only a few of this week’s #overheard comments actually came from her. The rest came from the usual suspects, as well as a few unsuspecting ones from our favorite watering hole and an event I attended this week.

If you want to see some of my #overheard comments in real-time, follow me on Facebook or Twitter. If you have any #overheard’s of your own, feel free to post them using the #overheard on FB or Twitter.

Here’s the 14th installment of Things I Have Overheard.

He hadn’t even got any living out of that foot. #overheard

Size-wise I knew they’d be fine. #overheard

I’m gonna put it in and see what it looks like. #overheard

He put it in his mouth, then licked it and looked at me. #overheard

Sometimes rubbing alcohol will give me flashbacks. #overheard

I need to eat ribs in the privacy of my own home. #overheard

Do you like to lick your fingers in public? #overheard

If she’s gonna do it, I’m really gonna want her to go at it hard. #overheard

The more you push the less they like it. #overheard

If I’m forced to be outdoors then I don’t want to work that hard. #overheard

We talk about stuff that needs to be done around the house, then we watch cartoons and eat cereal. #overheard

I can complain to you guys, but I’m too weak to tell them not to come. #overheard

I wish y’all had young kids so you could sympathize with me. #overheard

Oh, her ass is nice. #overheard

Her nipples are getting hard. #overheard

Don’t gimme no nuts!!

It makes your car smell like stale p^ssy. #overheard

I don’t like King Pao chicken because you’re giving me the nuts in there. #overheard

If I’m at the front of the line I’m blowing somebody off. #overheard

I like it the second time better anyway. #overheard

I’m gonna call you by your middle name!! #overheard

CW: It’s sad that I think most of us are not right anymore.
Me: I have that effect on people. #overheard

I don’t what her touching my tacos. #overheard

You wanna see the size of the intake they wanna put in there? #overheard

If you had told me there was mashed potatoes in my donuts, I would have NOT eaten them. #overheard

I’ve eaten that twice, that’s why I’ve heard of it. #overheard

It feels just like it sounds. #overheard

I’ll walk around in my underwear eating cupcakes and pie. I’ll wake up with crumbs and shame. #overheard

I just don’t think he’s as skilled with it as you are. #overheard

My general rule for life is to keep anything containing d!ck out of my mouth. #overheard

If you want me to do it, you can watch me, then you can do it. I can do it real fast. #overheard

I asked if I could take it from the back. #overheard

I was gonna give it to her. #overheard

I told you it didn’t feel like meat. #overheard

You don’t even know how to work it. #overheard

I hate those screeching things and they are ugly as f^ck. #overheard

He must want a LOT of attention.

You should have seen how hot I was. #overheard

She wasn’t bad looking, but she wasn’t smoking hot. #overheard

Anybody that wants attention wears f^cking mustaches. #overheard

I totally eat with my eyes. I don’t wanna eat nothing ugly. #overheard