Just the other day Tammy told me she didn’t like my #overheard posts anymore. Of course, the fact that it was after I got off the couch to find my notebook and write down something funny she had said might have had something to do with her disapproval.
But since she was gone last week, only a few of this week’s #overheard comments actually came from her. The rest came from the usual suspects, as well as a few unsuspecting ones from our favorite watering hole and an event I attended this week.
If you want to see some of my #overheard comments in real-time, follow me on Facebook or Twitter. If you have any #overheard’s of your own, feel free to post them using the #overheard on FB or Twitter.
Here’s the 14th installment of Things I Have Overheard.
He hadn’t even got any living out of that foot. #overheard
Size-wise I knew they’d be fine. #overheard
I’m gonna put it in and see what it looks like. #overheard
He put it in his mouth, then licked it and looked at me. #overheard
Sometimes rubbing alcohol will give me flashbacks. #overheard
I need to eat ribs in the privacy of my own home. #overheard
Do you like to lick your fingers in public? #overheard
If she’s gonna do it, I’m really gonna want her to go at it hard. #overheard
The more you push the less they like it. #overheard
If I’m forced to be outdoors then I don’t want to work that hard. #overheard
We talk about stuff that needs to be done around the house, then we watch cartoons and eat cereal. #overheard
I can complain to you guys, but I’m too weak to tell them not to come. #overheard
I wish y’all had young kids so you could sympathize with me. #overheard
Oh, her ass is nice. #overheard
Her nipples are getting hard. #overheard
It makes your car smell like stale p^ssy. #overheard
I don’t like King Pao chicken because you’re giving me the nuts in there. #overheard
If I’m at the front of the line I’m blowing somebody off. #overheard
I like it the second time better anyway. #overheard
I’m gonna call you by your middle name!! #overheard
CW: It’s sad that I think most of us are not right anymore.
Me: I have that effect on people. #overheard
I don’t what her touching my tacos. #overheard
You wanna see the size of the intake they wanna put in there? #overheard
If you had told me there was mashed potatoes in my donuts, I would have NOT eaten them. #overheard
I’ve eaten that twice, that’s why I’ve heard of it. #overheard
It feels just like it sounds. #overheard
I’ll walk around in my underwear eating cupcakes and pie. I’ll wake up with crumbs and shame. #overheard
I just don’t think he’s as skilled with it as you are. #overheard
My general rule for life is to keep anything containing d!ck out of my mouth. #overheard
If you want me to do it, you can watch me, then you can do it. I can do it real fast. #overheard
I asked if I could take it from the back. #overheard
I was gonna give it to her. #overheard
I told you it didn’t feel like meat. #overheard
You don’t even know how to work it. #overheard
I hate those screeching things and they are ugly as f^ck. #overheard
You should have seen how hot I was. #overheard
She wasn’t bad looking, but she wasn’t smoking hot. #overheard
Anybody that wants attention wears f^cking mustaches. #overheard
I totally eat with my eyes. I don’t wanna eat nothing ugly. #overheard
That GIF is creepy and can give a person nightmares. What does a stale pussy smell like? I’m curious. I ask to get it from the back all the time.
Love the “crumbs of shame”
If it didn’t feel like meat, what did it feel like? Salad?
Winners: I need to eat ribs in the privacy of my own home (bahahaha), It feels just like it sounds (dying for back story), and I told you it didn’t feel like meat (odear). Where the hell are you hanging out? This is a gold mine!