Things I Have Overheard – March – May 2014

In case you missed my recent posts, things have been pretty hectic for me. We bought a house which has taken up a lot of our time.

Then something happened with my Things I Have Overheard draft I keep in my mail which resulted in me losing the March – April list I had compiled. I had to go back through Facebook and Twitter to find some of what I had posted, but most of them were gone.

So, I started a new list made up of the scraps from March and April then filled in with #overheard comments from May.

Now that the month is winding down, and because I’ve got co-workers clamoring about when it’s going to be posted, I’m finally releasing my second edition of Things I Have Overheard for 2014, only five months into the year. I’ll try to do better.

Jive TurkeyHe can speak jive without sounding racist. #overheard

Am I your daily dose of ignorance? #overheard

It just came out, I couldn’t stop it. #overheard

I tried to touch it as little as possible. #overheard

I told him to take it out and put it in another one just to mix things up. #overheard

It’s not very wide, that’s why I was gonna blow it up more. #overheard

71476201I just don’t like full-frontal features. #overheard

It was just to big. #overheard

I like smaller ones. #overheard

I like to eat it on the weekends. #overheard

I didn’t have a 3 jaw puller. It’s a wobbler. #overheard

I can show him the hole that it’s going in. #overheard

I’m giving you the entire thing, you’ll like it. #overheard

There are very few times I’ll say a dick picture is funny, but that’s one of em!  #overheard

Do you mind if I slide in there real quick? #overheard

In college, all my friends would do it out in the living room. Not me, I would lock myself in my room, put on my headphones and suck it all in. #overheard

My friends, they stroke out all of theirs like that. #overheard

You got the right one in? Put ’em both in. #overheard

CW1: It’s just hard to grip because it’s just so small.
CW2: I’ve got small hands though.  #overheard

I’m starting to get into fudge-y territory. #overheard

I won’t watch if that makes it easier. #overheard

I think I feel a meat Goliath comin’ on! #overheard

Those 6-inch things were NOT working. #overheard

I don’t know how long the thing needs to be. #overheard

That isn’t that absurd of a size. I kind of dig it at that size. #overheard

It’s not as nice or as big and impressive as the others. #overheard

I like dark meat. #overheard

CW1: I’m just gonna use my hand now.
CW2: I just don’t want any of it to go to waste. #overheard

It’s just such an awkward size. #overheard

Why is it so small? #overheard

I don’t get weird with dicks. #overheard

That sausage is sitting right here on me. #overheard

All I do is keep on burping sausage. #overheard

Is that a chair with goo in it? #overheard

It was lukewarm when I put it in my mouth. #overheard

I don’t know that I have one that will fit perfectly. #overheard

Would you be able to stroke that? #overheard

5 1/2” is big! #overheard

Oh, I’ve had bigger. #overheard

That thing is way bigger than I thought. #overheard

I measured the inside of the box, 7 and a half will fit. #overheard

This still feels too small. #overheard

It felt Greek. #overheard

Every time I take a sip, it surprises me. #overheard

I tried blowing it up to see if it went away, but it doesn’t. #overheard

(He) can finish with either hand #overheard

They’ve got the best As Seen on TV section in the business. #overheard

I have a child, of course I can lie. #overheard

I can make ’em pull one and measure. #overheard

You can be fat and be a good biker. #overheard

It sticks out more, it’s longer. #overheard

I just wanted to be sure my stuff would fit. #overheard

The moment you get shot in the eye and you’re not expecting it is really freaky. #overheard

It never really grew that much, but it has always had a good bit of interaction. #overheard

Did you show him yours? #overheard

Oh my gosh, that’s a big one! #overheard

I know I wanna try it, but I just don’t want the whole thing. #overheard

It’s too big to go right here. #overheard

I just took the tip because I didn’t want the whole thing. #overheard

I don’t know how the head fit. #overheard

I wasn’t sure what I was doing the first time, but this time around it’ll be different. #overheard

F-CW1: I’ll put it in your box.
F-CW2: OK, sounds good. #overheard

She might not be pretty but she gets the job done. #overheard

(Co-worker) pulled that one out, I’m excited! #overheard

(Co-worker) pulled it out again, I’m really impressed. I’m excited! #overheard

It’s really long, but it’s really good. #overheard

You’re gonna appreciate this, some of it is rather large. #overheard

On 2nd thought, give me the small one. The small one works better for me. #overheard

Where are you putting this? #overheard

How big is the hole? #overheard

I can always tell a difference between the two meats, but I’ll eat them both. #overheard

I gotta makes sure you gets some. #overheard

If you’re tight, we can go get you the cash. #overheard

Anywhere it’ll fit is fine. #overheard

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