After reading a post about Aussa Lorens’s (aka the Hacker, Ninja, Hooker) Top Three Awkward Moments of Her Week, I felt inspired to write about something that happened in the office today.
I love it when people watch me hunching.
Earlier this afternoon I sat through a coworker talking about how it looked, and sounded, when his two red-eared slider turtles had sex. That was followed by another coworker sending out a YouTube video someone had recorded, at close range, of two turtles having sex.
The first coworker piped up, “It’s amazing how human they sound.”
I could feel my stomach churning at the thought of him making those sounds.
Here’s the Turtle Porn if you’d like to watch it.
About 10 minutes later, the first coworker had left the room and two others started talking about a sexual conversation they had with him last Friday.
Since he never cusses, they asked CW1 if he had ever said “F^CK.”
CW1 replied in his usual dry, monotone voice.
CW1: Yes, sometimes my wife likes it me to say it.
It got worse from there, but I’ll spare you the details, partially because I don’t want to relive them any more than I already have.
I’m a pretty open guy, but the thought of him making turtle sounds while humping and saying the F-word to his wife was a little more than I was prepared to deal with today.
The Life of J-Wo 
Wow. Now I’m curious as to what context she likes him to use the “F” word in?? lol
I know, right?
They are both usually pretty straight-laced so that really threw me for a loop.
So nasty. I did NOT watch the youtube video, I don’t need anymore things in my head that I can’t get rid of! I can’t believe that video was sent around work, that’s hilariously inappropriate. For the most part, I really really really don’t want to know about my coworkers sex lives… I would think that’d be pretty easy to assume but apparently not.
Very nasty. It was sent around the department, which consists of a bunch of guys at a very old-school company. There are a lot of things that go on there that would result in people getting fired at 99.5%+ companies in the US that had an HR department.
Oh yeah, we don’t have an HR department, so….
And I agree, I have no problem working with everyone, but I don’t want to know the hows and whens any of them have sex. Glad to know I’m not in the minority. 😉
I feel very dirty after watching that video. For me, that’s saying a lot. lol
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