The months of June (and July) flew by, which means that summer is
one-third almost complete and that it’s time for another installment of Things I Have Overheard.
Once again it appears as if I work in the adult entertainment industry (which I assure you is NOT the case) or that I work with a bunch of heathen, potty-mouthed and dirty-minded people (OK that part is debatable), but most the things I overhear weren’t originally intended as they sound when taken out of context.
Sometimes people on Facebook or the Tweeter ask me what was being discussed when I post some of the overheard moments. I tend to not respond to such requests, because giving you a peek behind the curtain would be disappointing.
“Can we just do it with the lights off?” isn’t about something dirty. Someone was literally just wondering if something work-related could be done without the lights on.
Knowing the back story kinda takes all of the fun out of it doesn’t it?
It’s much more fun when you take the Things I Have Overheard out of context and let your imagination run wild.
So, with that being said, here are the Things I Have Overheard during June… and July.
As big as I appear, my weight gain is not off track. #overheard
You guys are the reason Columbine happened. #overheard
At least you could push yours out, I don’t have too. #overheard
Is this actual size? #overheard
If you don’t want the whole thing, I’ll just take a quarter of it. #overheard
If it’s serving its purpose and it fits, it really doesn’t matter what shape it is. #overheard
He actually likes the long, skinny part better. #overheard
You just have to keep rubbin’ it #overheard
I was a girl until I came out. #overheard
I’m gonna be eating out, pretty much constantly. #overheard
I like my women like my BBQ; sweet, spicy, and saucy! #overheard
It feels funny in your hands. #overheard
Hell [she] probably doesn’t have anything to hold that in. #overheard
Oh my God, it’s so salty it’s chapping my lips. #overheard
I see it, I hit it. #overheard
That’s small, right? #overheard
I almost got it in. #overheard
I was freaked out to have it done to begin with. #overheard
It’s like just staring me in the eyeball. #overheard
I don’t think I can suck on this the whole way home. #overheard
I’m not used to seeing you coming from that direction. #overheard
Can we just do it with the lights off? #overheard
I do like the tip though. #overheard
You can take it in the car. #overheard
I think it’s gonna be too big. The ones you guys have is much wider. #overheard
I do soft and hard. #overheard
Here, squeeze this. #overheard
He walks like a guy that’s much fatter than he is. #overheard
I don’t like the really big ones. They’re too gushy for me. #overheard
I just sniffed it, it’s better than putting my hands on it. #overheard
Does that feel big? #overheard
Yeah , it’s getting hot… in the throat. #overheard
It’s cheating if you use someone else’s balls to do it. #overheard
It was sticking out, like a millimeter. #overheard
I was better than TWO black guys. #overheard
I couldn’t get it in my mouth fast enough. #overheard
I’ve got this little gap right there that needs something. #overheard
Things I Have Overheard in July
I piss next to him three or four times a day. #overheard
I’ve seen a baboon, but I haven’t looked straight up it’s butt. #overheard
I want you to grab it. #overheard
I don’t care to look at it. #overheard
Oh, I’m gonna show it, I think it looks good. #overheard
Obviously, this is the wood. #overheard
You pulled it out?! #overheard
Is that really what one looks like? #overheard
I drastically underestimated the size of this thing. #overheard
I stretched it, I stretched it. But it doesn’t seem stretched. #overheard
That one wasn’t as big as I thought it was gonna be. #overheard
CW1: Well, thanks for letting me touch it.
CW2: You’re welcome. I always let people touch it if they ask. #overheard
When I’ve been drinking, I start talking to black people like they are family. #overheard
I want to paper-cut your throat. #overheard
I guess (name withheld) was servicing him. #overheard
I was smacking his girlfriend’s ass. #overheard
I’d like to see her get a good ride. #overheard
They look HUGE from down here. #overheard
They keep smacking me in the face. #overheard
Person 1: I betcha you throw up.
Person 2: I betcha I won’t. #overheard
You need bigger wood to fill that gap. #overheard
Let me get it up, then I’ll show you. #overheard
It’s large on the front and small on the back. #overheard
The brown is the safety for the pink. #overheard
Would you like to see what my horrible thing looks like? #overheard
That’s pretty rigid right there. #overheard
Is it long enough? #overheard
You could stay on that all day, couldn’t ya? #overheard
What do you do with it? Cram it down its throat? #overheard
OK, fine. I’ll stop… until my next post.
You have good ears, my friend. Funny stuff, in context or not. I let my mind think whatever it wanted to think!
It’s so much better when you let your mind wander because most of the comments really aren’t bad at all. 🙂
Wander away… You mind, not you. You stay here… 🙂
You don’t let your mama read those do ya?
I’m pretty sure she stopped reading these posts a long, long time ago. HAHAHA….
Some of those really made me wonder the context because I’m not sure what would’ve made them not dirty.