Sharing My Brain’s (Kinda) Useful Knowledge

Sometimes Often what’s going on inside my head does not make sense to me, or anyone else for that matter, and this morning was one of those times.

A little help here…

I know some of the blame falls on the recent Geico commercial, where the tree is falling in the forest and it’s making a sound.

Well, that debate was going on inside my head this morning.

Brain A: If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around does it make a sound?
Brain B: Yes.
Brain A: Prove it.
Brain B: OK, if a deaf person turns on a TV does the TV know they can’t hear and therefore stops producing any sound? No.
Brain A:
Brain B: BOOM!! Sit down and shut up. *drops the mic

You’d think my brain, having just solved one of the great philosophical questions of all time, would have been proud of his accomplishments and rested on his laurels.

Geesh, just swallow it already.

You’d have been wrong.

While I was driving to lunch the topic of snorting pills came up.

Don’t ask.

Not because I can’t divulge anything, but because I can’t remember what started the discussion.

Me: I don’t get the whole crushing up pills to snort them thing. I mean I know it’s sposed to get into your system faster and all. But if you had simply swallowed the pill instead of chopping it up, then it prolly would have kicked in by time you finished getting it all crushed to the point where you could snort it.

My co-workers were impressed with that little nugget. Apparently they are pill crushers.

But my brain wasn’t done there.

As we were driving back from lunch, I told them about an idea that Tammy didn’t like. I had recently learned that hotel lobby bathrooms are great places to stop when Mother Nature calls, and that got me thinking about what other things hotel lobbies could be used for.

Me: We should just go up to the Hampton Inn (up the street) and eat breakfast sometimes. Think about it, if we just walked in like we knew what we were doing they prolly wouldn’t say anything. It’s not like they check your ID to prove you stayed there last night. They’d just think we were checking out and moved the car or something.

Again my co-workers thought that was a good idea. But, unfortunately I don’t see any free breakfasts in my future. Well, not unless I go without Tammy.

My last bit of knowledge is one that I’ve had in my head for a while now. I shared it with a co-worker several years ago and recently dusted if off for Molly, over at, when she recently wrote about hoping she’s wearing Chanel if she busts her ass.

Her falling with no drink = funny.   
Her falling and throwing drink on friends = awesome.

Say you are walking with a group of friends (it doesn’t HAVE to be friends, it can be anyone actually), you have a drink in your hands and trip over something.

You know you are going to fall AND that they are going to laugh at you.

What do you do?

You throw your drink on them as you are falling.

Problem solved.

They’ll be pissed at you instead of laughing.

You are welcome.

Sometimes my brain is actually good for something, although it’s mostly just brain farts.

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1 Response to Sharing My Brain’s (Kinda) Useful Knowledge

  1. mollytopia says:

    That is GREAT advice!

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